Dear Mr Blackstone,
my name is Yuan Lin and I am your student from Group 4 of CVE1281. This post acts as a formal introduction about myself to you and my fellow classmates. Prior to pursing the civil engineering joint-degree programme offered by Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) and University of Glasgow (UoG), I was on my gap year working as a retail associate specialising in audio gadgets and lifestyle products. That job has no association with my diploma in environmental management and water technology from Singapore Polytechnic, but it was a part-time job I took on since I started polytechnic that I switched to full-time after graduating. Additionally, I got to experience the best of both worlds of tertiary education, as I also graduated with an A-Level certification in the science stream before embarking on my diploma.
My interest in pursuing in the civil engineering field began while on a university talk, then organised by my junior college where I was introduced to the prospect of a civil engineer. At the same time, I have always been intrigued by environmental topics which led to me finalising my diploma choice. Even though now I am studying civil engineering, my diploma is still relevant as it is a scope in the field as well.
A strength (I believe) I possess is how people would find it easy to approach me for talks. Friends around me and even strangers (especially aunties) tend to approach me first to strike up a chat with me. It has also helped me in my job as customers are less reluctant to accept my offer to assist them on first approach. Friends have also commented that their first impression is that I am friendly to approach. However, a weakness I noticed is that I still lack the know-how on public speeches. I tend to shy away at the opportunity of optional presentations, as I lack a coherent train of thoughts to present my idea despite preparation. I admit it that I overthink on being “in the spotlight” with the plausibility of the audience making fun of my articulation and stutter, which makes the whole experience awkward and uncomfortable for me.
So, through this module I wish that I can pick up the arts of effective communication to aid in conveying my ideas effortlessly. Of course, this soft skill will very much be applicable to the working field in the future, where I might need to present my idea or project to my superiors and fellow colleagues. I look forward to the journey we will be embarking on for this trimester.
Best Regards,
Yeo Yuan Lin
*Edited on 6th April 2019
*Commented on Jayce's, Syed's & Nurul's post
*Edited on 6th April 2019
*Commented on Jayce's, Syed's & Nurul's post
Dear Yuan,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your extensive education and work background in this introduction. You certainly seem to have refined the tools needed for doing an in-depth analysis of environmentail issues. Those should come in hand when you do the project for this module.
You also review your communication strengths and weaknesses in good detail. I'm happy to report to you that you'll have plenty of opportunity to work on your presentation skills in the coming weeks.
There are a couple areas where this post can be refined:
1. phrasing
-- My realisation of my interest > My realisation of an interest OR (more concisely) My interest
-- A strength I believe I possesses > ?
-- to the prospect of a civil engineer. > ?
-- I am always intrigued in environmental topic > I have always been intrigued by environmental topics
-- my diploma has relevance to civil engineering as it is a scope in the field. > ?
-- to strike a chat > to strike up a chat
-- lack the know-hows > lack the know-how
-- to present my idea across > to present my ideas
-- I admit it to my consciousness of > ?
-- Am looking forward >
2. overuse of caps
-- my Junior College
3. awkward sentence
-- I admit it to my consciousness of how I am “in the spotlight” and the plausibility of the audience making fun of my articulation and stutter, that make myself feel all awkward about the whole experience. >
These are minor issues though. Overall, this is well written and informative letter.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Yuan Lin,
ReplyDeleteYour introduction letter is very informative and I got to know you even better. I spotted some errors from your introduction letter. These are the following:
Paragraph 1:
1. “my name is Yuan Lin and I am your student from Group 4 of CVE1281. "
(my---> My)
Paragraph 4:
2. "Am looking forward to journey we will be embarking on for this trimester."
(to journey ---> to the journey)
Regards,
Jayce